McLaren Mercedes has imposed a ban on alcohol consumption for their new driver lineup, with Ron Dennis opining “We don’t see why drivers need to have even one drink in the course of a season”. Well, ordinarily they wouldn’t, but the question is – can the drivers get through a year of driving the unreliable McLaren on just orange juice? And really, what does Johnnie Walker (World’s No. 1 scotch whisky and incidentally – McLaren sponsor) have to say about the situation? It is not yet known what Fernando Alonso or Lewis Hamilton feel on this matter, but it is reported that Kimi Raikkonen has started believing in guardian angels again. If Ferrari tried to bring in a similar measure, one imagines they might find themselves a star driver short.

A Johnnie Walker insider said they were attempting to work things out with Ron Dennis. “There appears to be a small miscommunication” revealed the insider, pointing out that the general idea is that you promote your sponsor instead of issuing well-publicized bans on the sponsor’s product(s). Meanwhile Vodafone is already taking necessary precautionary measures. It is rumored that they have contacted Ron Dennis and let him know in no uncertain terms what would ensue if he banned cell phones next.

publicdemo.jpgThe announcement has caused widespread dismay in Spain where the fans fear their local hero is being slowly turned into a bald automaton. It has also triggered a few isolated protest marches with banners along the lines of “Save Alonso” and “Renault PLEASE take him back”. It is also widely expected that the Woking based team will soon be announcing a 10 PM curfew as well as a strict dress code for its drivers.

Ferrari’s only newly introduced rule for this season remains “Any super-assistant hired by Ferrari with 7 or more F1 world championships will be required to aid in car development by testing the car.”

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