Well it seems Luca Colajanni popped up bright and early from under his duvet this morning, in his red, white and green team pyjamas with his favourite stuffed toy by his side (and after quickly reading FFN on his laptop) knew exactly what the press would be asking when he arrived at the circuit.

“I know what your going to say” he laughed speaking to Pitpass, “But honestly I have nothing to say, I prefer to ignore such reports. Michael is clearly involved with the team, but this particular report is nonsense.” he commented referring to the rumours that appeared in the German Media yesterday that Michael Schumacher was being groomed by the Maranello outfit to become Team Boss.

Asked if he thought that the speculation would continue Luca laughed “but of course, that is what the media does, speculate”.

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Mr Colajanni’s stuffed toy keeps a beady eye on the F1 hacks

I wonder if he knew when he took the job on that he would never get a moment’s peace from the press and the never-ending consipracy theories, plots and speculations.

As if by magic, super-assistant (and next to be cleaning lady) Michael Schumacher arrived at the Circuit de Catalunya just to stir up the F1 hacks a little bit more, the man doesn’t even have to open his mouth and he causes a frenzied riot.

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Michael then stood around in the garage looking somewhat contemplative, contemplating his next backgammon moves? then later was spotted laughing with new-boy Kimi Raikonnen…just to annoy Mark (I’m the fountain of all F1 knowledge) Webber.

Kimi is supposed to be irked at the presence of the super-assistant at test sessions according to Mr.Webber but we all know the truth…Kimi only gets irked when the Roll-Mop Herrings and Vodkas runs out. And according to Ron Dennis, Kimi never listens to advice from anyone, so anything super-assistant Mike might have to say will be in one ear and out the other quicker than a wheelnut can fall off Alonso’s car…

Thus far today there hasn’t been much action from either of the Ferrari’s, Felipe has been sifting through his enormous sack of valentines cards from every 14 year old in Brazil….and Kimi has been doing what he does best, yep standing around “being lazy” but at least he is still smiling eh Stefano?

It is hoped that after super-assistant Michael serves up dinner (a nice pasta dish with some bottles of chianti, followed by a large portion of tiramisu), he will then be off to the back of the garage with the water-jet to wash the dishes down, answer Jean Todt’s mail and might if he feels thus inclined pick up a spanner or two and do some tinkering with the supposedly new aerodynamics bits and bobs on the F2007.

What a busy retirement he is having.

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