By now all the F1 teams who have been testing this week at the Circuit de Catalunya in Barcelona will have packed up and be heading home, with two thoughts on their mind, how to make their car faster than everyone else’s and will they ever see the back of super-assistant-or-secret-team-boss Michael Schumacher. He must be like a thorn in the side that Ferrari can wheel out to irritate everyone with (especially Renault who are now championless), we have a seven time world champion and he doesn’t even drive a car! nah-ne-nah-na-nah-nah!

Kimi Raikonnen was his usually charming and witty self when he was interviewed by the Italian Media yesterday. In an interview with Gazetta dello Sport Kimi revealed that he didnt know if Michael would still have been driving for Ferrari when he signed his contract. He didn’t know whether Ross Brawn was off on his fishing-jollies when he signed (otherwise he’d have gone to hold the maggots in case any roll-mop herrings were on offer), and he didn’t care much what McLaren have to say about him. Did he care much for anything? apparantly not as long as he got to push the odd Race Marshall about, got one day a week off smiling duty and was allowed the odd occasional inappropriate toilet humour remark to the press as it suited.
Hands Off my Finlandia Vodka you Braggard! (Kimi gives a steward what for)

fisichella.jpgWho said Italians have no sense of style?

Meanwhile Giancarlo Fischella’s love affair with Ferrari showed no sign of abating (you’d think after all these years of trying to kiss their **** on the podium he’d get the message he doesn’t stand a cat-in-hells chance.) The dimunitive Roman gushed “Here Ferrari look more consistent than McLaren, especially in the first couple of laps and the last few laps of the stint. They are very competitive, they did a good job, they have worked a lot with Bridgestone. I think there is bit of an advantage. I love them very much that red car is so shiny and beautiful….I am very ‘appy” (Ok I admit I got a bit carried away with artistic license there).

Fisichella also claimed that Renault have a little bit of work to do to catch the Maranello squad in terms of speed but was confident that could be achieved. It’s all very well being just as fast Fisi mate but lets face it your about as good at overtaking as Michael is at being a convincing liar to stewards after parking his car at Rascasse. The pressure is on however for the Italian who is in his last year of contract for Renault to deliver the goods or could be on his way out the sport….well he’s making a good job of talking the talk at least. Maybe Luca Colajanni should be sweating about his job again…

Honda have begun their pre-season annual trumpet blowing again…I knew they couldn’t leave it well alone…they never learn….Team Principal Nick Fry has been whooping up to the Press, extolling the virtues of ex-Ferrari Pilot Rubens Barrichello.
“I think this year we’ll see a different Rubens, very much so,” said Fry in an interview with Autosport “Over the winter period he’s lost over five kilos in weight, he’s very, very motivated, (and) he’s thoroughly enjoyed driving on the Bridgestones.
“I think you’re going to see a different person, and he’ll give Jenson a run for his money.” (well someone has to otherwise what are they paying the Englishman that ridiculous sum of money for?.)

rubens.jpgA different Rubens…..I can’t spot any differences can you?

Fry then went on to blather away about how he didn’t see any difference between the speed of any of the F1 drivers (does the man need glasses?) and that the only difference was how many laps they could maintain that speed for…..(that will obviously account for all of Jenson’s world championships then) he carried on and on, we lost interest and almost passed into a coma….and only regained consciousness when Nick didn’t look where he was walking and fell down a man-hole at the back of the paddock.