The last day at Barcelona was rather action packed, with David Coulthard topping the timing sheets most unexpectedly. Either all the other teams were sandbagging (though we admit that is unlikely) or DC has suddenly discovered some hitherto unknown pace probably owing to the presence of team owner Deitrich Mateschitz. It is rumored that Mr. Deitrich was wondering just yesterday why he was paying millions to Adrian Newey to come up with what seemed to be a turkey on wheels, but the car’s sudden spurt in performance despite plaguing reliability issues will be seen as a positive sign. Anyway the RB team owner cannot complain – Ferrari is paying millions to Michael Schumacher and they don’t even know what the deliverables are. Mark Webber was too busy thinking up which team or paddock personality to attack next, and couldn’t come up with competitive times.

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Felipe Massa seemed strangely harried and confused throughout the day, and caused a red flag in the evening when he accidentally binned the car and then proceeded to do a few stretching exercises on the track (See picture above). Kimi Raikkonen managed to slip away in the afternoon when no-one was looking and later called from the airport to confirm he had completed his designated program. Fernando Alonso was outraged at the media for making him seem “pretty unproffessional” – something we think Alonso is anyway doing a darned good job of without any outside assistance.

schum.jpgAnd speaking of assistance, the super-assistant-or-secretively-team-boss (SAOSTB) Michael Schumacher made a surprise visit to Barcelona today and then proceeded to mope around the place looking like he had just lost his favorite pet. It is not known if Michael was just feeling like a jackass for having retired a shade prematurely, or if he was practicing a mature and dignified countenance for a new role. “It is a bit tricky…” said an insider, “..to have a team boss who could probably do a better job than the drivers if he got into the car”. We have to agree with that. The insider also revealed that  given Michael’s propensity for landing himself and those around him squarely in the soup on an annual basis, he might just prefer a low-profile background role at the current time.

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