schumitable.jpg(a) These team bosses are apparently a touchy lot when it comes to fashion sense, and Colin Kolles caused a lot of raised eyebrows last year when he attended a meeting in jeans. Given Michael’s strange affliction for floral prints, lilac shirts and cowboy hats – he might cause the lot of them to froth at the mouth and pass out to put it mildly.

(b) Being a team boss apparently also means having long discussions with Ron Dennis acoss the table – and that is enough to make anyone think twice about the job. Five minutes with Ron makes your head start to spin slightly, and after an hour the general symptoms are – glazed look, twitching of fingers, sudden loss of interest in living. Two hours is considered by doctors to be the absolute limit – anything above that can be fatal – it is called death from Ron-overdose.

(c) It is never a good idea to have a team boss who can shove one of the drivers aside, climb into the car and do a better job – it is just tempting fate to put Michael in close proximity to a F1 car day in and day out. Kimi and Felipe would no doubt prefer a team boss who knows a little less about racing a F1 car than they do – just a little easier to come up with excuses that way (not that Kimi or Felipe would need any).

(d) The general idea behind retirement is to take it a little easy and relax a bit – and a job with 16-hour work days (7 days a week) seems a very dubious way to go about it. Moving from the position of star Ferrari driver to Ferrari team boss is just jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Hans-Joachim Stuck, former F1 driver, thinks Schumi will not like waking up at 6 AM and going to bed at 2 AM the next morning – and we think that is a reasonable assumption.

(e) It will no doubt make Mark Webber very uncomfortable – he gets all nervous when he thinks Schumi is watching him – and given the rumors that Michael owns a stake in Red Bull – his only options are to either close his eyes every time a Ferrari is about to lap Webber’s car…or bet on DC to deliver (hahaha*cough*).

(f) Flavio Briatore after Brazil 2006 : “It is a waste of talent really, I don’t see why the man should retire. I would have taken him”. Norbert Haug: “If Schumi wants to race again, he has my number”. Frank Williams: “He is one driver I would have loved to run.”….and so on. Ferrari wouldn’t be very comfortable sending Michael off to a team boss meeting given the possibility that he could come back as a Renault driver. Now, that wouldn’t do at all, would it?

Photograph source: