Throughout the last 11 seasons in Formula 1, some people (well probably most actually) have been desperate to see the back of two particular individuals in the sport. One is that German chappie with an annoying habit of winning just about everything in sight while simultaneously winning friends and influencing people as only he knows how. The other is the dastardly, calculating, devious-minded, english evil genius who by day masquerades as a big cuddly teddy-bear look-alike….and by night sits in a big black chair plotting global domination.
To whom do I refer? (if you haven’t guessed) it’s Michael Schumacher and Ross Brawn. The double act that has been the scourge of the pit-lane all these years for their single-minded pursuit of glory no matter if they had to pull a few slightly underhand stunts to get the job done. And still got loved for it, much to the annoyance of the rest of the teams.
So you would think the fact these two gentleman have both decided to turn their backs on their previous roles in the sport and take a little time out would be cause for a big party. After all their rivals might get their hands on a few more peanut bowls now, right? And in turn the media might actually get an opportunity to write about someone else for a change, right?
It’s not just the German Media that is desperate for our intrepid duo to make a comeback.
So far this week we have seen them touting for Michael to pinch Kimi’s car (No doubt while Kimi is tucking into his vodka-pickled hors’ douvres) and make a comeback albeit in the name of ‘testing’. Then for the German to stampede into Northern Italy on his prancing horse and set the Maranello house in order as the team-boss. Not wanting to leave his sidekick out, they have been touting for Ross to do the same albeit not in the F2007 because apparently he wouldn’t fit…. (Maybe they want to investigate making a sidecar? I can just see them now like Wallace and Gromit….)
Not wanting to be outdone any longer by that bunch of scarlet clad Italian cheating rat-bags, who it has been his life’s work to hate, Ron Dennis is apparently now calling for Ross to come to McLaren and teach them a few devious tricks of their own by becoming team principal. After all, Ron has spent years looking distinctly unhappy (well I expect I would be the same if I’d accidentally had a broom handle up my bottom) and bitterly complaining to the FIA and still hasn’t got a shiny pot to show for it. It’s simply unfair! If you can’t beat them employ them…..it worked like a charm with Alonso…..what a cunning plan….
Meanwhile Ross is happily fishing away in the Southern Hemisphere, and Michael pottering about with a few shrubs in the garden of his castle, content in the knowledge that even now they are getting their rivals undergarments in a twist…. fearful in the knowledge they might make a comeback and Ferrari would be even more devious, evil and unstoppable than ever.