ausgp.jpgI am just curious, but why do Australians come up with ex-girlfriend analogies when asked about Michael Schumacher? (Chris Dyer’s interview in Autosport, and you remember Mark Webber of course). I am sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for it, but I just thought I should mention it. Anyway, the drivers are all in town and the journos have been going around plaguing everyone with the question – “Will Michael Schumacher be missed?”….which is first of all – a really silly question. Schumacher fans will miss him, others not so much…and the drivers least of all. Why on earth would the drivers miss Michael when he single-handledly accounted for close to 50% of the wins every season for the past decade and little more?  What are they supposed to say? Let’s see…”Yes, we just loved seeing him win race after race and we are really going to miss that”?? Honestly, if I were a Formula 1 driver, I would be doing a little dance on the track right now to celebrate. It also makes you wonder how the poor driver is supposed to have the first darned clue whether Michael will be missed by the general public – they are not public perception indicators. Of all the foolish questions to ask, this one takes the cake. And if people weren’t missing Michael, they wouldn’t be talking about him or asking questions about him – I think that is indicative enough. 

Kimi Raikkonen has been having an overdose of stupid questions as well, so much so that he could rattle off (or perhaps mumble away) the answers even when woken up from sleep (which I have suspected for long is the case anyway when he turns up for press conferences). He might have stepped on a few toes (already) in Australia, when he attended the Ferrari media conference at Lygon St, Carlton. The main complaint seems to be that Massa was “as animated as a Samba dancer” and Kimi was not – something I think the juornos should have gotten used to by now anyway. Apparently he was frosty, answered in monosyllables and talked a lot about sleeping being his favorite hobby. Yes, that sounds like the Kimi we all know allright – no case of mistaken identity here. Put him in a car though, and he can drive the wheels of it – and honestly that is what we are looking for (and not someone with the oratory skills of Cicero). Felipe Massa has been doing his bit to downplay the test times and get the juornos to stop asking questions about it, and concentrate on the upcoming race instead. “Testing is testing and racing is racing, and it is the racing that counts” says Massa, being his usual modest self.

Meanwhile Nando’s former manager Adrian Campos has just stopped short of calling him (Nando) a reincarnation of divinity in the form of a Formula 1 racer. “With Schumacher’s retirement there is no one left to match him” says Campos, before going on (and on and on and on….) “He is well above the rest of the field. He’s very superior to the rest and he will clinch the title again this year. Fernando is the only driver in the world who can make a good car become a great car. It’s even possible that he retires after he wins a third title, but that would be crazy because there’s nobody like him”. Yes all hail Fernando Alonso, God’s gift to humanity in these very distressing times. We do agree that he is a very talented chap, if that is what Campos is trying to say, but he seemed quite human last we saw him on TV. Well, what do you know! Let us hope the Ferrari drivers have what it takes to compete against this paragon of all good virtues.