It’s all a bit laughable really. Formula 1 a dangerous sport, where overgrown little boys with over-competitive egos in dangerously fast cars can’t manage to go one weekend with out smashing to smithereens at least one or two vehicles.

crashtestdummies1.jpgSo it comes as somewhat of a surprise that the F1 community have been asked to give their support to the United Nations Road Safety Week that takes place between the 23rd and 29th of April. Various Formula 1 stars have given their backing to this campaign which is seeking to improve awareness concerning the scale of the global road safety problem, especially among young people who are particularly affected.

The FIA have apparently been backing the campaign in a number of ways including sending crash test dummies to the Bahrain Grand Prix. Quite how sending a bright yellow plastic man to a Grand Prix highlights the need for road safety one does not know, and it certainly didn’t have that much effect as Honda’s Jenson Button and STR’s Scott Speed still had a first lap crash once the lights had gone out….unless it was the two yellow plastic men actually driving? Still I’m assuming the plastic men were rather chuffed at getting in to the race for free, whereas mere mortals still had to cough up some lolly for the prospect of a good old prang.

schumacherintrouble.jpgAnother of the FIA’s initiatives involves former 7 times World Champion Michael Schumacher attending an event on the 23rd April in London to talk about road safety. What I wouldn’t give to see Mr. Schumacher’s speech notes, which must be intriguing and very insightful given his coloured career. I’m wondering if they contain the following:-

* Advice on how to punt your rivals off the road when they are looking like they are going to beat you
* Handy parking manoeuvres on tight city street corners
* High speed swerving overtaking manoeuvres once the traffic lights have gone green
* How to deal with other motorists in a rational manner after an accident (Spa 98)
* How to combat road rage

Rather amusingly another firm believer in absolute road safety is Double World Champion Fernando Alonso. “For me its very important to support this campaign and make safety the first priority in our cars in everyday life. I think we need to improve safety and we need to improve the roads, make the roads safe and I think we can do this if everyone works in the same directions” Nando quipped. Indeed, I shall take that with a pinch of salt coming from someone with a penchant for brake-testing his rivals in qualifying trim…as that kind of behaviour is only going to see someone rapidly parked into the back of your car on the motorway.

Even Mr.Magoo (David Coulthard) himself has had the temerity to start preaching on the subject…..which is a bit rich considering his track record so far this season. Perhaps he will be promoting awareness on how not to mow down innocent pedestrians and how to look where your going on the road instead of driving over someone else’s car.

So it’s a case of do as I say and not as I do, from the F1 community. Next it will be Kimi Raikkonen preaching about the dangers of drinking vodka and singing karoake badly, and Flavio Briatore instilling in us the importance of using anti-perspirant deodorants.

autosportblueprint1.jpgMeanwhile War is brewing yet again down the pit-lane. Red Bull it is rumoured have been investigating the leak in which a set of Red Bull technical blueprints managed to spirit themselves out of a filing cabinet in their Milton Keynes factory and escort themselves into the hands of the Spyker F1 team. Red Bull claim they have uncovered who the sticky mitted taurine covered thief is and our consulting with their lawyers next week over the best course of action to take.

Presumably it won’t be an eye for an eye…..because who would really want to nick blueprints for the slowest car on the grid?

However team principal Christian Horner is keeping a tight lid on the whole thing and refusing to confess just what Red Bull’s battle plans are. Red Bull are also keeping stumm about whether it is just the sticky fingered muppet who stole the plans initially or Spyker or both who are on their most wanted list.

Meanwhile talks between the team principals initiated to resolve the customer car row which started all this sticky mess in the first place, have stalled with no compromise as yet being found. Bernie Ecclestone F1 supremo must now go away and come up with a proposal before the Spanish Grand Prix. It is expected that this meeting will also now involve Technical Directors… not only will it be a bunch of argumentative crotchedy old men having a spat over money, now a bunch of technical nerds are sticking their noses in as well. Sounds absolutely fascinating. *wake me up when it’s all over*.

Updated 23/04/2007 Just in case you were interested 😉 two links to Michael talking about Road Safety:

BBC News

Sky News