Are you suffering from acute ‘Lewis Hamilton’ overdose? Does hearing the name make you want to tear out your hair and run into the streets screaming? (or even worse, drown yourself in the bathtub?) Did you entertain frequent violent thoughts towards the television commentators while watching the last grand prix? Are you despairing about having to give up watching F1 if only to preserve your own sanity? Don’t worry, here’s a panacea for all your troubles – the LH-BlockAid has been uniquely designed to bring back the original race viewing experience sans fatheaded commentators prattling on and on about you-know-who. We know the mute button is a cheaper option, but what’s watching a race without the engine ‘music’ really? The LH-BlockAid uses advanced noise filtering technology and matching algorithm to remove sentences containing the words ‘Lewis’ or ‘Hamilton’ (which is pretty much all of the commentary really), whilst preserving the richness and quality of sound otherwise. The one-size-fits-all design expands appropriately in your ears to block out any external noise. The device is slated for mass production, and is initially priced at $39.99. First 1000 orders will be exempt from shipping costs, so hurry while the offer lasts!
Please note that the device will also ship with a free LH-News-BlockAid software that can be installed on your PC (or Mac) and will serve as a F1 news reader with filtering capabilities. However the software is still in BETA phase, we tried it out this morning filtering out all sentences containing ‘Hamilton’ and just got a bunch of blank pages. We reckon it might be a bug, but one never knows.
Enhance your race viewing experience, protect yourself and your family from LH-overdose. Act now! Sanity is just a phone call away at 1-800-GOD-SAVE-US-ALL-FROM-DUMB-F1-COMMENTATORS-AND-MEDIA.
PS: We really like Lewis Hamilton at FFN to be honest – he seems polite, friendly and awfully talented. But really, for his sake and that of the F1 viewers, it is time the media gained some perspective and gave it a rest. Knowing how impossible that is, we are forced to plug for LH-BlockAid. Believe us, it really works. Order yours today.