A month is a long time to wait for another Grand Prix, and while we do not begrudge the fact the engineers and mechanics have to go home at some point to check their wives haven’t run off with the milkman….it’s a long hard wait for us petrol heads. Not to mention here at FFN with very little news coming out of the F1 fraternity we are going to have to put our thinking caps on and go back to making up alot of ridiculous nonsense instead of stealing other people’s. Where are the German Media when you need them?

christian-albersjet.jpgJust to ensure we don’t entirely forget the sport we love in that intervening period and swap to tiddlywinks instead, the F1 teams and Motorsports Media have been attempting to keep us interested with various public relations stunts and gimmicks.

On Friday (oops good grief is that today?) Spyker-Ferrari will be putting on a demonstration at the Volkel Airbase in the Netherlands, where Christian Albers will be racing his F1 car against a F-16 fighter jet. The exercise is intended to increase awareness of the Netherland’s Airforce recruitment programme apparently, rather than showcase Alber’s talents.

Presumably it’s a good thing that Christian isn’t flying the jet, or the airforce could find itself grounded indefinitely with its multi-million pound pride and joy neatly smashed into a barrier somewhere while Christian was innocently looking for his earplugs and not where he was going.

cartagena1.jpgMeanwhile Red Bull Racing will be putting on a demonstration next weekend in Colombia. It’s not what your thinking, here at FFN after breaking out into a cold sweat we got straight onto Red Bull to ensure it wasn’t some elaborately staged ploy to entice Juan Pablo Montoya back into F1. We can happily confirm the idea never crossed their minds, and in any case apparently their monocoque is far too small for burger-boy to fit a leg in.

Red Bull have confirmed they will be demonstrating their car with a V10 engine along the beach front in Cartagena, the vehicle will be driven by portuguese junior team member Filipe Albuquerque. One can safely assume DC wasn’t asked for fear he might run over the locals, and rumours currently circulating suggest that Mark Webber has been detained in customs for whinging too much on his flight. Still it’s useful having Filipe driving as he can always stop and ask for directions if he get’s lost.

Renault, previous World Champions, yup those of the lovely paint scheme, have confirmed they will also be demonstrating later on in the year in Warsaw Poland. No doubt they are hoping to inspire the next generation of Robert Kubica’s. The demonstration will take place on the streets of Warsaw on June 3rd, giving the local populace a chance to get up close to the team and the cars, lets hope Flavio doesn’t forget his deodorant that week or we could see a mass exodus of Polish people packing up and rushing to the airport like some scene from an outbreak movie.

michaelholiday.jpgFerrari it would seem is too busy to get involved in gimmicky affairs, already running its Ferrari 60 relay to celebrate 60 years of the Ferrari tradition. However, Ferrari super-assistant Michael Schumacher is unwittingly taking part in a demonstration all of his own on their behalf, keeping the local hacks busy with his holiday antics in Miami, United States.

Michael has been spotted getting his towel laid out before the other guests, lounging around by the pool, smoking cigars and scaring the locals with his dazzling speedo’s. The only thing missing was a dodgy moustache, chest rug and medallion…..Magnum P.I. anyone? Next week Michael will be flying into London to lend his support to the UN road safety awareness program, I just hope for his sake he doesn’t end up getting the last taxi driver I had, otherwise he will be in for a real education in driving on the edge.

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