Apparently us tifosi have been a tad naughty, and deserve a slap on the wrist. According to Williams Driver Alex Wurz, we are unfairly expecting Ferrari Driver Kimi Raikkonen to be 7 times World Champion Michael Schumacher, and it needs to stop according to the Austrian.
Now I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a slightly unfair assessment of the situation. I may have been guilty of going on non-stop about vodka, roll mop herrings, discos, karaoke and falling on your head aboard yachts on a weekly basis….but I don’t personally recall ever thinking Kimi was German, had a “Schloss” the size of my street, a penchant for upsetting his rivals with some dodgy manoeuvres, or enough shiny pots on his mantlepiece to make up 7 World Championships.
Still according to Alex, if we all back off and let Kimi do his thing, stop harping on about the good old glory days and how Michael Schumacher is like a pair of our favourite old slippers that we can’t quite bear to throw out….he may in fact become a Ferrari Legend in the mould of the late Gilles Villeneuve, and win a special place in our hearts.
Alex (who worked with the Kimster for 4 years at McLaren) went on to suggest that Kimi is easy to understand and therefore to love. Well I don’t know about anyone else but personally I can’t understand a single word. After each press conference, I have to get straight on the great big spidery web to see if Ferrari’s Official Spokesman and Communication Genius Luca Colajanni has managed to extract any sense out of the mumbling.
Still there is hope yet, Sporting Director Stefano Domenicali managed to get Kimi to deliver a few smiles in the pre-season build up, so you never know he could have Kimi booked on a speech therapy course and he might wow us later on with great rousing ‘Winston Churchill’ type speeches….and I’d willingly line up to fight McLaren on the beaches.
While Kimi is struggling to win over the hearts of us fickle tifosi (and does he actually know since he isn’t supposed to listen according to Ron Dennis), his predecessor is keen to point out he is thoroughly enjoying his retirement at the grand old age of 38, thank you very much. (Don’t some people just make you sick?).
Former Ferrari driver Michael Schumacher, made a rare public appearance in Poznan in Poland recently. Where he informed us all that he is not missing racing at the moment one little bit and is happily enjoying all his new found spare time, including spending more of it with wife Corinna and his two children, Mick and Gina-Maria.
Looking nicely sun-tanned (and I should think so after all that lounging around on sunbeds in Miami), Michael told the press conference that “I’m very close to the racing, I’m involved with almost everything that’s happening”.
No doubt this little snippet of information will be blown out of all proportion by tomorrow, when we will in fact be informed by the German Media that Michael has replaced Mario Almondo as Technical Director for the week. This will be followed by a week as Head of Track Operations in place of Luca Baldisserri, who is expected to have an unfortunate incident with his curling tongs and will be unable to report for duty.
Michael went on to confirm that he finds watching the Grand Prix interesting, and no doubt because the tifosi are griping about someone else for a change, which must make for a novel experience after spending 16 years as a hero and villain all in one combo. However, Michael insisted he was only watching for the enjoyment of it, and not to learn anything. We here at FFN can’t help but think if you haven’t learn it sitting in your Formula 1 car for all those years, then sitting in a lazy-boy armchair, munching on popcorn and falling asleep during the advert breaks isn’t really going to bring any great moments of realisation is it?. But you can’t tell that to the “armchair experts”.