bernie.jpgFor a pint sized ankle-biting midget with a bowl haircut and the fashion sense of the average grandma, Bernie Ecclestone sure can kick up a big fuss at a moment’s notice. Today the miniature F1 supremo has sparked a political row in Spain, by vowing that Valencia will be hosting a round of the F1 Grand Prix Calendar from 2008, on the condition that current President Francisco Camps (Interesting Surname) gets re-elected in the forthcoming local elections to be held later on this month. (Can I detect a bung?).

Suffice to say in Spain, this has upset a few people….most notably the opposition political parties, who are furious that Bernie is making a political event out of the issue. This is an insult to the people of Valencia who are above these sort of conditional offers,” said Inmaculada Rodriguez-Pinero, the PSOE’s secretary of politics, economics and employment. Not to a mention an insult to the intelligence of us all when Bernie said there was no reason for any country to host two Grand Prix while axing some of Europe’s old favourites, to twenty seconds later attempt to cash in on the new found popularity of Formula 1 in Spain due to the success of some chap called Fernando “Eyebrow” Alone-so and all over a bit of monopoly money.

I don’t know why we should be surprised, the midget hasn’t got to where he has with out a fantastic business acumen, the ability to manipulate at will, a secretive admiration for Josef Stalin, and knowing how to make friends and influence people on a par with Microsoft’s Bill Gates. Let’s hope he never mistakenly gets offered the job as a UN goodwill ambassador….or Switzerland could be invading Iraq.

On the back of the FIA saying they are going to clamp down on all the silly winglets appearing like sprouting mushrooms up and down the pitlane, in an attempt to improve the opportunity of overtaking possibilities….BMW-Sauber have confirmed they will be unveiling an interesting and novel new wing from tomorrow morning in Friday Practice. BMW-Sauber Team Boss Mario Theissen has confirmed the team will be testing the new device for the first time tomorrow and suggested “we will know it when we see it”….leading us to wonder if it can be any more fantastical or long lasting than the ‘dumbo ears’ from Honda.

davidcoulthard.jpgTalking of dumbo’s, apparently Red Bull’s Mr.Magoo (that’s David Coulthard to you and I) is apparently getting a bit narked about people continually harping on about his age. According to DC he is just as motivated as he was last millennium and doesn’t see what difference it makes if he is 18 or 158 as long as he is a fast experienced driver. And the fact that he doesn’t see is the crux of the issue, as Alex Wurz’s nicely attached head might agree.

But there is no telling DC, who actually believes he has out-performed his younger team mate Mark Webber, despite the Scot not having finished a race since last August…and Mark finishing in both Australia and Malaysia. Another benefit of Old Age…Convenient Short Term Memory Loss. Next DC will be turning up at McLaren and wondering who the hell the two children are that seem to have stolen his seat. I am also wondering if perhaps mirrors have been banned in the Coulthard Household and if David has convinced himself he actually has ‘blonde highlights’ in that grizzled old man’s beard. Gawd help us all when he gets a mobility scooter.

kimster.jpgMeanwhile down at Ferrari young whipper-snapper Kimi Raikkonen has been wildy monosyllabically enthusing as only he knows how, about the return of his predecessor the ‘Red Baron’ to the Formula 1 scene. According to the Kimster, The Return of the King, will involve Michael going behind the scenes to advise Ferrari on what he thinks other teams are upto (sounds like a bit of spying) and suggesting valuable ways to help the team move forward (I usually find the accelerator is a good place to start).

However, Kimi uncertainly refuted the fact Michael would be driving the F2007 “I think I still drive the car, and I do with my engineers what I want,” the Finn replied to Media questions while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Which probably only prompted more questions, as it is rumoured Michael like to wear his engineers lucky underpants….so the mind boggles just what Kimi gets up to behind closed doors with his roll-mop herrings and Chris Dyer.

Just three days to go until the Spanish Grand Prix…..

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