When it was announced Kimi Raikkonen was moving to Ferrari last September, it was immediately assumed the Finn would be running away with the F1 championship once he got in a reliable car. Well unfortunately things have not panned out as expected, Kimi is trailing both his team-mate in world championship points and the team he left behind.

The questions on the minds of many are, what exactly is going on? why hasn’t Kimi appeared to find his feet yet in the Maranello team? is Kimi really a car-breaker? is he over-rated or does bad luck just follow him everywhere?

helpimparalysed.jpgAccording to the German Media, they know the reason why Kimi has not fared so well this season. Apparantly Kimi is suffering from ‘Schumi Syndrome’. Those supposedly in the know on the subject believe the young Finn becomes paralysed with fear everytime 7 times World Champion Michael Schumacher walks into the garage, and subsequently fails to perform once out on track.

These so called psychological experts point out that for the two occasions when Michael has attend Grand Prix acting in his unspecified ‘advisory’ role for the Ferrari team, Kimi has both times failed to perform as expected (Barcelona and Monaco).

Here at FFN we were under the misguided illusion that Kimi’s poor showing in the Spanish Grand Prix was actually due to an electronical technical failure, but what would we know? And Monaco, well wasn’t Kimi just trying to emulate the guy we have all been saying he should all season? Honestly, he can’t seem to do anything right can he.

As for being terrified of Michael well..honestly the man is a pussycat nothing to be scared of there! Just ask Jacques Villeneuve. And really what was the Kimser’s excuse for all those years at McLaren surely he wasn’t terrified of Burger-boy Montoya as well?

ralfietoyota.jpgA person that should be terrified according to the current paddock gossip is Ralfie Schumacher. The not so prolific Schumacher Brother if reports from German publication ‘Bilge’ are to be believed, has been issued a two race ultimatum by his team to shape up or ship out.

The German star is currently trailing in the championship standings on only 1 point compared to the 4 of his team-mate Trulli. Not very good going for supposedly one of the top 3 drivers in F1 is it? according to Ralf he has struggled to get to grips with the 2007 spec tyres, but considering everyone else is in the same boat it doesn’t really hold much water as an excuse.

Although the team have stopped short of confirming they have issued the ultimatum, they are not confirming Ralf is definitely staying either which in an imminent sign of a heave-ho if ever there was one.

michaelferrari.jpgPerhaps clueless team boss John Howett has finally discovered that he isn’t actually called Michael, only has three pots to his name not 95 cajillion, and wants his money back. I wonder if Ralfie will take up a pop career as well? well he can’t do worse than that flappy-headed beady-eyed Canadian surely.

Meanwhile, rumours are suggesting that Ralfie could be replaced by Spyker’s rookie Adrian Sutil as early as Magny-Cours. It is understood the Cologne based team would be interested in recruiting another German driver, but Nick Heidfeld who had been linked to the seat some weeks ago is keen to stay at BMW-Sauber. Apparently Toyota have been overheard enquiring about the young German’s contract status at Spyker….in a possible move to replace Ralfie if he doesn’t pull his socks up.

Is it all a load of old hocum from the German Press yet again? Or are we about to finally see the last of one Schumacher Brother? because you can bet your bottom dollar Michael will still be tottering about the Ferrari Garage when he is 90.

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