According to the latest rumours in the Motorsports Media, Formula 1 driver Giancarlo Fisichella is to open a Motorsports Academy at the Vallelunga Circuit in Italy.

fisifella.jpgApparently the state of the art bio-compatible facility called the “FMS technopole” will offer a variety of courses in many fields of expertise linked to the motor racing industry. Students at the FMS facility will be able to undertake courses to help them become mechanics, telemetrists, race engineers, aerodynamicists, team managers and even technical directors. (We presume classes in perfecting the phrases “I am very ‘appy” and “it woz a good race” and swearing, throwing hissy-fits, and appearing perpetually slower than your team-mate year-in-year-out come as standard). Strangely they don’t seem to offer a masterclass in being a successful Formula 1 driver…maybe they couldn’t get anyone in with the necessary experience.

Once the students have completed the courses in their specified discipline they will be awarded a diploma of merit, and their details will be passed on to all available motor racing teams and establishments that are seeking new employees. Which is all very admirable indeed, here at FFN we had absolutely no idea Fisichella was such an expert in all these other fields. Given Renault’s poor start to the 2007 season, perhaps Renault want to sack Flavio, Pat Symonds, Alan Permane and co…save themselves a few million dollars and let Fisi get to work on sorting it all out.

Interestingly, the FMS “technopole” which boasts solar panels and other bio-compatible technologies will also provide many other useful facilities, including a personal training facility (gym), a restaurant, shopping arcades so you can buy replica Fisichella sunglasses and hideous Renault team-wear, headquarters for Fisichella’s other racing teams and a dedicated museum displaying race cars and images of success from Giancarlo’s illustrious motor-racing career. So that’s a grand total of three photos we are to understand. It is not yet confirmed if there will be a display cabinet showcasing Fisi’s shiny pot collection, on account that they don’t know if they can find one small enough.

We shouldn’t mock it, Fisichella is admirably building for the future of motorsport, and it is admirable, no honestly…let’s just hope he is better at this than driving….we should at least be grateful Super Aguri’s Takuma Sato hasn’t opened a driving school of excellence….

Meanwhile, an old F1 one-hit wonder from the mists of time has wormed his way out of the woodwork yet again. You may recall several months back one Jacques Villeneuve (ex F1 driver and pop diva) claiming that he would never again pass comment on anything to do with Formula 1 or anyone in it, and we all thought Christmas had come early. According to Jacques his ascerbic comments were incorrectly interpreted and seen as being critical of his fellow drivers and colleagues in his former profession and he was no longer going to partake in that form of activity…much to the chagrin of the F1 hacks.

lewisgoldenchops1.jpgSo it is with a bit of surprise that we fell out of bed this morning to see Jacques flourishing pop career seems to be over before it started, and he is heading back to reclaim his crown as queen hand-bag slinger of the pitlane. This time Jacques has slammed McLaren Rookie Lewis Hamilton. What honestly has the golden boy of F1, the media’s darling, and Ron’s little poppet done to offend Jacques pray tell? (apart from being just about all over the media every darned twenty seconds obviously).

Jacques has apparently told Autosport Magazine that he is far from impressed with what he has seen so far, not a case of sour grapes then?

JV has questioned the legality and professionalism of Lewis’s demon fast starts. According to Jacques, Lewis is partaking in Schumacher-esque chops at the start of the race which according to the balding, flappy-headed, beady-eyed Canadian just isn’t cricket…er actually its called racing Jacques. According to JV these kind of manouevres would see other F1 participants black-flagged and he reckons Lewis is lucky so far not to have been penalised (that would get the British Press in an uproar).

jacquesonhissoapbox.jpgWe can’t help but wonder if Jacques had his way every race would end up like the Monaco GP, a procession of cars going round and round, nobody overtaking for fear of getting a rival’s undergarments in a twist…and definitely no controversies or set-to’s to keep us enthralled. Perhaps he should seriously think about joining the FIA who seem just as hell bent on making the sport as uninteresting as humanly possible.

Here at FFN we are wondering if in fact Jacques is a little bit jealous at having been completely forgotten already, and is desperately trying to claw back some of Lewis’s media attention for himself. And how come everything always in some way, shape of form links back to Michael Schumacher? We know he is a secret team-boss, gardener, test driver, UN road safety advisor, friends to the whales diver, charity footballer and “ferrari team advisor” and many more in his spare time, but surely he can’t be blamed for just about everything that goes on in the sport?

Maybe JV is miffed that he wasn’t Lewis’s childhood racing idol? It’s so unfair, isn’t it? Sniff.

Advertisements