ournige.jpgNo doubt if you are a life long tifosi, or even one who has been knocking round the block for a few years, today you will have been totally shocked by the emerging news that Ferrari are instigating criminal proceedings against Ferrari Stalwart Nigel Stepney.

Nigel was considered by many to be an integral part of the Scuderia team that brought success back to Maranello after a 21-year drought. Indeed it was John Barnard (another pain in the backside for Ferrari) who brought Nigel to Maranello, where our Nige was responsible for turning the Ferrari pit crew into the well operated slick tyre-changing and fuel-pumping envy of the pit lane. Nigel then went on to become the Ferrari Race and Test Technical Manager until earlier this year.

However, it seems to have all gone slightly awry over the winter. You may remember our Nige was not best happy with the organisational restructuring that took place at Ferrari over the winter, on the back of the resignation of Ross Brawn as Technical Director. Nige it seems was not totally confident with the new organisational structure and technical director, and got on his hobby horse quick sticks. Complaining to Autosport, should anyone be in the market for a slightly ageing fuel pump expert with a dodgy left kneecap (kindly courtesy of a certain Mr Schumacher). At which point Ferrari then had to do a bit more jigging about to find Nige something to do to keep him out of trouble and out of the press.

It seems it didn’t work very well did it? Our Nige is now facing criminal proceedings in a court in Modena for gawd knows what.

Here at FFN we have to come to a startling realisation. Considering Our Nigel was put in charge of Team Performance Development, we are wondering is he actually being sued by Ferrari for Kimi’s supposed woefully out of character and criminal performances so far this season. Or has he been tampering with the Ferrari’s car performance in an attempt to wangle himself a nifty promotion? Or has been left with too much free time now he has been banished to the factory, and been caught tampering with Ferrari’s wind tunnel? No doubt all will soon be revealed.

One possibility is that our Nige, who has been linked to a possible move to Honda, has been caught passing on Ferrari Secrets to another team. Such as what Jean Todt really looks like without his red jumper, Where Luca Di parks his tractor, and what Michael Schumacher actually gets up to on the Ferrari Pit Wall these days. Something I’m sure we’d all like to know.

We can only assume it’s something rather naughty, and it’s not just Nige getting caught taking home one too many Ferrari Mugs for his nightly hot chocolate.

lucadi.jpgWhile we are sat here in shock about Nigel, one thing that comes as no great shock is that Luca Di (Ferrari’s President) is not a happy camper (yet again). This time the Ferrari President has confessed he is not enjoying this F1 season very much. Hardly surprising when you having to stare a lot at Ron Dennis skipping up the podium steps instead of your little nail-biting buddy the Yoda look-alike Jean Todt… Who you will agree is much more entertaining to look at.

Well apparently the Ferrari President is none too impressed with some of the half-arsed rules the FIA have seen fit to introduce this season. According to media reports Luca Di has expressed his dislike of the fact there is no overtaking (and if your a tifosi you’ll have to agree we haven’t seen much of our boys doing that) and he doesn’t like the rules concerning the safety car either…. According to the Italian the safety car rules in Monaco making F1 a bit like roulette. Well we suppose it saves you having to walk to the Casino. Honestly, there is no pleasing some is there?

The Ferrari President apparently went on and on, including telling everyone what a wonderful pair of drivers we have and how Ferrari will make a comeback, but we haven’t got the first darned clue what else he said because our reporter slipped into unconsciousness, waking up to find himself being swept out with the empty Cinzano Glasses.