Less than 24 hours after Ferrari secured their first 1-2 of the season and a much needed victory for Kimi; arch-rivals McLaren are already looking to pop Ferrari’s party balloons and blow out the candles. Although here at FFN we can’t say we are surprised when Ron Dennis McLaren CEO is the sort of person that struggles to smile on a good day, let alone be remotely pleasant or gracious to his arch-rivals in defeat.
According to the Ronster, the reason Ferrari looked so good this weekend in France, really has very little to do with all the hard work the Maranello Squad has been putting in recently back at the factory and in the last test at Silverstone. Or the fact that Ferrari seem to have finally managed to discover how to keep Kimi Raikkonen from dropping off to sleep when he is sat on the grid at the beginning of the race.
So naturally we are all tripping over ourselves in eager anticipation to know what pearls of insightful wisdom Mr. Dennis can impart on why Ferrari scampered away securing 18 much needed points, while McLaren’s two drivers could only manage 3rd and 7th places respectively.
“We flattered them [Ferrari] this weekend,” said Dennis. “They did a good job, and probably improved the car a little bit. But we made them look a lot better than they were. Hopefully, we will demonstrate that at Silverstone.” Although how those comments relate to flattery we are not quite sure, because we are pretty certain Retentive Ron would rather poke a red hot stick up his left nostril than pay a compliment to his bitterest rivals at Maranello.
However if the Ronster is to be believed, it wasn’t that Ferrari performed brilliantly and had made great strides in improving their car since their poor showings in Monaco, Montreal and Indianapolis, it was that McLaren were in fact a pile of pants all weekend. He certainly has a unique method of inspiring and motivating his workforce doesn’t he?
Ferrari as ever are keeping their feet on the ground, and trying not to get carried away with things. Sporting Director Stefano Domenicali suggesting that the Scuderia boys are not reading too much into the gap Kimi and Felipe pulled out against their McLaren counterparts. Purely because Lewis Hamilton appeared to be on a completely pointless and obscure race strategy (my thoughts not Stefano’s, although I’m sure it crossed his mind).
Roll on Silverstone then, so we can witness if McLaren really are a pile of old underpants for sure, and if Ferrari have regained the upper hand in the championship battle. Here at FFN, we would like to see another 1-2 trouncing by the Ferrari boys, purely in the interests of seeing what tripe spews forth from the Ronster’s piehole by way of excuses of course. Not to mention the profound relief of not having to witness that smug old slaphead prancing up the podium steps with a fake tear in his eye.
Meanwhile, it appears Fernando Alonso has given up on his latest fad of going outside and performing precipitation-inducing dances to try and level up the playing field. (Well it didn’t work in France did it? although we do feel it would stand a slightly better chance in England, if the weather of late is anything to go by).
“Right now I have to make up ground to Lewis, who is leading the championship, and we’ll start with the next race at Silverstone, God willing. Some day the gearbox problems that I had, or the safety car, or something else will affect him and I hope to be able to be there to reduce the gap by six or eight points in one race.” said Nando with just about every available appendage crossed.
Although I’m a little nonplussed why Nando is wasting his time on his hands and knees grovelling to the big man upstairs, when according to the Vatican he is a fully paid up member of the Robert Kubica fan club since the Canadian Grand Prix. He’d probably have more luck if he complained to the FIA that Lewis Hamilton’s ears were illegal flexi-devices.
Anyway, rumour has it that shortly after making these comments to the Motorsports Media, Nando was witnessed in a corner of the paddock flicking through a copy of Yellow Pages looking up Gypsies, Black Magic and where to buy packets of thumb tacks. Curious. 6 days to see if it works.