ournige.jpgHas anyone else noticed that since the Stepneygate Espionage/Sabotage Saga broke into the news a few weeks ago, the reports emanating from the media on a daily basis are beginning to sound more and more like an episode of Miami Vice than the story of a disgruntled 40 something employee?

On top of the rumours of clandestine meetings, secret parcels, stolen documents, dodgy photocopying and strange white powder…comes the latest part of the drama.

bertolli.jpgNigel Stepney’s Lawyer Sonia Bartolini (whom I shall call Bertolli from now on as a common brand of Olive Oil is easier to remember) is claiming that our Nige is looking to sue the perpetrators who forced the Englishman to flee Italy in a state of panic. According to Nige, when he returned from his jollies in the Philippines both himself and his girlfriend were on the receiving end of some rather unpleasant attention. If reports are to be believed, Nige was involved in several high speed car chases with mysterious strangers in cars with Italian License Plates (and what would you expect in Italy, Vietnamese ones?) and on one occasion managed to corner one of the perpetrators who refused to speak. It wasn’t Kimi perchance was it? He’s not known for being a big talker we understand.

Nigel also claims that tracking gear was placed on his car, and his girlfriend Ash was stalked at the house. No doubt all of this is very frightening indeed and its no wonder Nige decided to flee the scene of the crime and go into hiding (hopefully he remembered to remove the tracking device first).

According to Nige’s Lawyer, Bertolli, they are investigating whom these mysterious perpetrators are by following up the license plates, and if it is found to belong to his former employers then Ferrari are going to be slapped with a lawsuit.

I can’t help wanting to point out the obvious, surely you’d recognise if it was one of your employers cars, by the fact they are usually red, have a prancing horse emblem on the bonnet and an ability to go at high speeds? To our knowledge, the only other vehicles to hand at Maranello are a Fiat Multipla and Luca Di’s tractor, and surely they would be a dead give-away. At least Nigel wasn’t driven off the road in an aggressive overtaking manoeuvre, otherwise all eyes and fingers might be pointing in Michael Schumacher’s direction by now.

We wish Nigel good luck with his lawsuit against Ferrari if this is the case, as it’s not very fair to get followed at home as well as at work…just imagine if your boss turned up at your house uninvited! We can’t help but feeling though the recompense he might get for being followed about by a few cars bearing Italian Plates compared to selling your employers top secrets to their biggest most bitter rivals, well he isn’t going to come out with much in the way of pocket change is he?

whitepowder.jpgYou may remember this whole sorry story began with reports of a mysterious white powder, which subsequently had its limelight stolen by a buffoon and his photocopying antics. Well according to the District Attorney in Modena Giuseppe Tibis, the investigation into Nige’s sherbet dip-dab is going on apace. It is reported that on the 3rd or 4th of August all will be revealed as to what the mysterious white powder is, it’s concentration and what effects it might have. Although why it takes so long to confirm it’s washing detergent we have absolutely no idea, but you know these legal types they like a bit of suspense and high drama and dancing about in silly wigs.

According to Giuseppe Tibis, the first hearing into the detergent drama could take place as soon as the end of the year. We will have to see what comes out in the wash.

Meanwhile no report into the saga would be complete without mentioning the McLaren Muppet Mike Coughlan. Ever the sensible, it seems that once Mike had his hands on Ferrari’s dossier of secret information he couldn’t quite help himself. If reports in Italian Newspapers are to be believed, Mike couldn’t help brandishing the secret dossier at every given opportunity. It is not now known who in McLaren hasn’t had a good read before telling him to burn it, apart from the McLaren janitor that is…who can’t read allegedly.

No doubt all of this gets his team into some very hot water indeed, and it will be interesting to see how McLaren get on at the FIA World Motorsport’s Council on July 26th, as they now can’t rely on the old chestnut “we know nothing”.

Beat that Colin Farrell.