ournige1.jpgAccording to recent reports in the Media, our Nige is seeking a meeting with the Maranello bods in an attempt to clear his name.

Apparently Nige says he is ready to speak to Ferrari CEO Jean Todt (the short feisty nail biting yoda look-alike) and President Luca Di Montezemolo (He of the tractor infamy), in an attempt to distance himself from the espionage/sabotage/Honda absconding F1 soap opera. That is one meeting we would love to be a fly on the wall for.

“I want to clear my position with Ferrari; I want to let everyone understand it’s nothing to do with me.” stated Nige. “And I want to reveal some names of people inside Ferrari who had more interest than myself in doing what I’m unfairly accused of” and “I have nothing against the team and I could never have done such things. I repeat: it’s a conspiracy.”

There is nothing better than a good old conspiracy is there? That way just about anyone can be to blame for everything including those little green men from Mars. I wonder if the Modena District Attorney has been thoughtful enough to check out if there are any grassy knolls and book repositories in the vicinity of Maranello.

Meanwhile, Italian Newspaper Corriere della Sera have apparently obtained a copy of the Modena Police Report investigation into the mysterious white powder fiasco.

According to the Italian Newspaper, Stepney was first interrogated by the police on May 18th (the day after a mechanic reportedly found white powder around Kimi and Felipe’s race cars), where they confiscated a pair of trousers from which they obtained a sample of the white powder in question.

thewrongtrousers.jpgOur Nige is apparently reported as saying at the time “I really can’t say how that sand has ended up in my pockets,” and “Anyone could have put it there. Last night I left the trousers unattended in the changing room while I was taking a shower.” There goes my theory on washing powder then.

It’s all becoming strangely familiar. If Nigel is innocent, then the trousers are evidently to blame for the latest Maranello crime spree.

Let’s look at the ingredients so far in the Stepneygate Saga. An English lad being accused of all sorts of dastardly crimes by his employer, some mysterious powder, and now some confiscated mechanical trousers…. Now where have we seen this before? So far the only missing ingredient is that rascal penguin.

While Ferrari (and the rest of us) are struggling to get their heads around just what has been going on, it seems all sorts of confusion is running amok over at Woking. We can’t keep up. The story seems to change on an hourly basis, it seems no-one can decide if it’s just Mike Coughlan that has been turning Ferrari dossiers into exclusive front room decor, or if Martin Whitmarsh, Paddy Lowe and Jonathan Neale have been joining in the fun as well. But they shouldn’t worry too much if they can’t make their minds up as the FIA is rumoured to be coming to their rescue.

Apparently Spanish FIA delegate Joaquin Verdegay has kindly popped out of the woodwork and given his considered opinion to the media on what should happen on July 26th at the specially convened World Motorsports Council. “Certainly what I hope happens is that Dennis’ team do not even get a reprimand, because it is almost impossible to prove anything,” our popular Spanish friend is reported as saying. Now here at FFN we don’t go about as a rule splitting hairs and picking faults and whatnot, but aren’t you supposed to actually listen to the evidence first before you pass judgement?

Of course now the FIA are none to pleased that one of their delegates has been tittle-tattling to the F1 hacks, it seems Verdegay has denied ever making the statement. Remind you of any other Spaniard we know? Was he separated at birth from Fernando Alone-so? We demand to be told.

themclarencar.jpg

Meanwhile it seem’s McLaren are adamant their car bears absolutely no passing resemblance to the F2007 whatsoever.

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