We are so spoiled. F1 has been so much fun of late. What other sport brings you espionage, sabotage, fisticuffs, ‘buried bodies’, smashed up cars and middle aged men making total plonkers of themselves?

magnum-pi.jpgJust two days before the FIA hearing in Paris, which will call McLaren to account for their part in the Stepneygate-Couglan Spying Debacle, we learn that Ferrari’s former glorified but now disgraced Chief Mechanic known as ‘Our Nige’ has hired a private detective.

I know what your instantly thinking…..Magnum P.I. he drove a Ferrari right? and wasn’t his Butler an English buffoon? (played by Coughlan obviously) anyway I digress.

Our Nige has hired afore mentioned private detective to get to the bottom of the supposed ‘conspiracy’ against him. Assuming Magnum P.I. still has his 1980’s Ferrari and fully developed chest-wig and ‘tache were expecting he’d probably roll into Maranello HQ without so much as a blink from the security guards. Cunning Plan. Although how said detective is going to go about getting to the bottom of what is going on when nobody else seems to have the first darned clue we have no idea, perhaps he can hire Jessica Fletcher to help him as she seems to have first hand experience of ‘buried bodies’ and inept crooks.

speedandliuzzi.jpgMeanwhile, it seems it’s not just Ferrari that are having trouble with their staff. On Sunday Scott Speed (or Scott Slow as I affectionately know him) spoke out against the Scuderia Torro Rosso Management claiming that it’s pretty obvious from press statements made by team bosses Gerhard Berger and Franz Tost that they are trying pretty hard to get rid of Scott and Tonio, perish the thought.

This comes on the back of rumours that Scott was allegedly assaulted by team boss Fried Toast (I mean Franz Tost) after sunday’s race. According to current pitlane rumour, after Speed retired from the race he walked into the garage to explain what had happened to Franz, then as he turned away Franz made a grab for his shoulder with one eye witness declaring the move an “assault”. Personally we feel a punch in the face would make for better headlines, but we can’t have it all.

STR Management meanwhile have spoken out about their desire to get up and coming young starlets Sebastian Vettel and Sebatien Bourdais for next year’s drives. No doubt they won’t need to slap Vettel about, instead they can just send him back to his wendy house with no jelly and icecream when he has been naughty.

You have to feel for Speed and Liuzzi really, despite the fact between them they can barely manage to keep the car on track, it must be hard constantly getting a verbal lashing from your management in the morning papers. Perhaps they need some coaching from the Kimster who is a dab hand at not listening to anyone and everyone.

youngbernard.jpgIn other news, it appears young Bernard Ecclestone has gone back on his word. Just a few weeks ago he was gleefully declaring that Formula 1 would never have to go back to Magny-Cours and camping with cows again, now it seems just a few weeks later he has done an about face. Why the sudden change in heart we ask? Apparently our favourite F1 Meglomaniac has had a meeting with the French Prime Minister Francois Fillon, and has agreed in principle that Magny-Cours can retain the race until at least 2009 unless another viable option in France becomes available.

We are guessing either Disneyland is fully booked then for the next 2 years, or a small matter of monopoly money exchanged sweaty mitts.

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