dcandfelipe.jpgThat David Coulthard’s got some nerve! Affectionately referred to as cube-head by some, the former McLaren driver who is next only to Attila the Hun when it comes to wreaking havoc in wet races was caught trying to needle poor Felipe Massa during the FIA press conference. Going by Felipe’s spirited exchange of words with Fernando Alonso just a few weeks ago, DC must be thanking his lucky stars Felipe didn’t just turn around and plug him in the eye to end the debate. “How do we know that Ferrari didn’t deliberately not put fuel in Felipe’s car?” DC apparently pointed out during the press conference, “Maybe that was a team decision to benefit Kimi. How do you forget to put fuel in a car?” Well, I suppose the same way people do fatheaded things like slowing down in the racing line in the rain or attempting to decapitate fellow drivers by jumping over them with the car. But you wouldn’t know, would you DC?

We do agree that Ferrari have committed some public gaffes in the past. “Rubens, please let Mikol pass for the sampeonsip” comes readily to mind, which made us all wonder rather reproachfully if anyone in Ferrari had heard of such a thing called code language. Ideally, whenever McLaren got DC to move aside for Hakkinen, they apparently did so by saying “it’s a fine day, did you see that sparrow?”. While this might have raised questions about Ron Dennis’s mental state had the radio transcripts been published (I mean, talking about spotting sparrows when his driver is going purple attempting to manouever a F1 car), no one would have suspected them of issuing team orders. Sadly, subtelity is something that was lacking in Ferrari then.

But to suggest that Ferrari would deliberately risk looking like supreme jackasses just so they can give their in-house gorilla-suit donning James Hunt fan a better shot at the race is to stretch things a bit whichever way you look at it. And we have already explained the unfortunate events leading up to Massa’s attempt to qualify with no fuel here on FFN before. As we said, this was because Luca Baldisserri had misplaced his strategy crayons and was searching for them frantically, while the rest on the pitwall were helping him look for it…and no one noticed Felipe had come in and gone out during all the commotion. Happens to the best of them. Surely you remember when Ferrari tried to send Eddie Irvine out with three tyres in 1999? I think we can assume a master strategist like Ross Brawn knows a car is generally faster on four tyres than it is on three. Just a lapse is what it is.

So enough with the conspiracy theories already. Michael Schumacher’s engine failure in Suzuka ’06 has nothing to do with Schumi nearly taking out Nige in 2000 and giving him a wobbly knee to boot. And Ferrari’s fatheaded mistake in forgetting to refuel Felipe in Hungary is just that – a fatheaded mistake. It’s on to Turkey now, and as always, keeping fingers crossed for a Ferrari 1-2. Forza.

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