You may have been wondering this week why the deuces we have gone so quiet here at FFN. Before you start phoning around all the local mental hospitals to see if we have finally been carted off, I can assure you all is well and yes, we are still barking mad and at large.

monza.jpgIn fact, one of us having managed to escape a fate worse than death (I’m referring to the near miss with a Brazilian rainforest tree counting expedition) has sauntered off here to sunny Monza for the week. (That’s in Italy just in case your geography is as bad as mine is).

No sooner have I stepped away from the trusty old keyboard back home then it seems certain former Ferrari Mechanics have been up to no good yet again, and are forcing me back in-doors and on to the tint-er-web for a rant or three.

After things going remarkably quiet of late in the Ferrari-McLaren Espionage storm-in-a-teacup, it seems our Nige has managed to get himself back into the headlines yet again.

This time rumours emanating from the paddock at Monza, suggest that the former glorified Ferrari Mechanic was not only busy all winter emailing his old pal Mike ‘Xerox’ Coughlan with secret Ferrari plans. If rumours are true our Nige was also joining up to friends and networking site ‘Facebook’ (a bit similar to MySpace) and getting pally with McLaren driver Fernando Alonso and test driver Pedro De La Rosa too.

flav-me-no-likes-mclaren.jpgAccording to German Media Publication Auto Motor und Sport, the two McLaren stars were also on the receiving end of top secret emails detailing Ferrari set-up plans. Suspicion only being aroused when Nando had a spat in Italian with Ferrari’s Felipe Massa on route to the podium in where ever it was (senior moment on my part), and accidentally slipped in one of Nige’s favourite phrases ‘spiffing’ by mistake.

Nando apparently was unavailable for comment this afternoon on account he was off somewhere throwing yet another hissy-fit.

We can’t help but feel there has been some terrible mix up at Ferrari and someone should have explained to our Nige that when he was given the job of being in charge of ‘Team Performance Development’ naturally the Maranello Squad meant Ferrari’s and not Motorsport as a whole.

Meanwhile it seems the FIA have cancelled next weeks Court of Appeal hearing where Ferrari were looking to put forward their case against the ruling made at the last monthly old farts meeting.

fiatruck.jpgInstead the FIA are convening a second WMSC (World Motorsports Council) meeting and McLaren have been invited to attend in light of new evidence in the spying/letter-writing scandal that has rocked F1 this year. We can only hope the general public are spared the details this time as even the lengthy literary tome Lord of the Rings (and all those elven songs) are easier to follow than Ron’s rantings.

Scurrulous rumours currently circulating out here in the ethos are suggesting Renault Team Boss Flavio Briatore has played a big part in forcing the issue, not because his team’s lawyers have apparently been working very closely with Ferrari to firmly nail McLaren in their coffin….but because he has apparently been bombarding the FIA’s Fax Machine with images of himself in Speedo’s until they pull their finger out. And let’s face it – that image is enough to put anyone off their breakfast for life.

flavio.jpgAnd just when things looked like they couldn’t get any worse for the Woking outfit, it appears McLaren are under investigation (AGAIN) this time by the race stewards at Monza who are citing that McLaren are illegally using a new lightweight gearbox or some such rubbish. We presume they are talking about a car part and not the infernal device that seems to deliver never ending power to Ron’s trap and keeps spewing on and on about integrity and honesty.

It remains to be seen if the handbags can go away for twenty seconds, and if we might actually get a bit of on track action for a change this weekend. 4 days to go until the Italian GP.