michaels-modest-hut.JPGHeading into the last three Grand Prix of the curent Formula 1 season much of the news and rumours surrounding the paddock concern the drivers market.

This season being no exception to previous ones with the exception we are not wondering this time what Michael Schumacher might be upto (apart from the important business of tinkering with his new Schloss that is).

As FerrariFan previously reported Fernando Alonso is keeping everyone guessing, with rumours that he is joining just about every other team plus some in his bid to escape the incessant chattering of McLaren Team Principal Ron Dennis. Obviously having seen that Ferrari’s Kimi Raikkonen made a great escape, Nando it is rumoured is attempting to follow suit. Not least because he probably feels that his temper tantrum throwing ways should fit in well with a team that historically had been known for throwing the odd few itself on occasion (Ferrari just in case you were unsure who I was prattling on about).

But it is not just Nando’s eyebrow movements that are keeping the tifosi on their toes and potentially having them pulling tufts of hair out, oh no.

It would seem according to current rumours, other changes could be afoot at Ferrari as well apart from the obvious difficulty the team are going to encounter trying to cram Felipe Massa and Nando into the same car.

jean-todt2.JPGAccording to the latest scurrulous rumours Ferrari CEO Jean Todt could be receiving his pension and bus pass sooner rather than later. It is understood in some of the less prestigious sections of the media that Jean is under increasing pressure from the top to give up his role of Team Boss to make way for former Technical Director Ross Brawn. Jean however it is thought is less than willing to give over the reins of power as is often the way with people of dimunitive stature (just look at Bernie!).

Here at FFN we think we have hit upon the solution. Given that Jean is not very big anyway, why not keep them both, after all if Jean sat on Ross’s knee on the pitwall (and Ross being a great hulking figure of a man) he would finally be able to see what the deuces is going on track and lead the team from there, instead of having to be resigned to campaigning for the teams annual shiny pot allowance in courtrooms in Paris.

Yesterday we also learnt that former glorified Mechanic and top of Max Mosley’s Christmas Card list Nigel Snitch Stepney is penning his autobiography. The lengthy tome entitled “Red Mist” which will highlight all areas of Nigel’s life (car chases, white powder, secret dossiers, love trysts with Coughlan and whether he knows his beard is only second in silliest to Alonso’s) will be available in bookshops next year.

Ever the thoughtful type we are to understand ‘Steppers’ is not penning this great work of fiction to make any money (I’m not rolling my eyes in incredibility honestly) but to put across his version of events in the spygate saga amongst other things. How incredibly kind of him, we are presuming since Nige doesn’t want any money for the honour, it will be perfectly acceptable for us to ‘borrow’ a copy from the local bookshop, sneak it out under our coats, take a photocopy on McLaren’s behalf and return the original from whence it came.

the-artist.JPGGiven that our Nige has gone on record in the past talking about knowing where Ferrari keep their dead bodies (we had presumed a cemetary but maybe that’s naive) we are wondering if this lengthy revelation may have half the staff at Maranello downing tools and heading off en masse with spades in hand preparing a plot on his behalf.

If other scurrulous rumours are to be believed yet more changes may be afoot amongst Ferrari’s other encumbants. Here at FFN we understand Mario Almondo is looking to set up his own cake baking emporium, Luca Di Montezemolo is thinking about going into hairdressing (I promise I won’t make a pun about his cutting remarks) and Luca Baldisserri it is thought will be donning a beret and heading off into the sunset with his crayons to be an artist.

Where this leaves the likes of Rob Smedley and Chris Dyer we haven’t got the foggiest, but at least ickle Felipe is giving Luca Colajanni a run for his money in the press release department. Forza.

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